When I Have Lived the Final Chapter

In March, 1983. The young woman said, as she handed me a bouquet of flowers, “We are just ordinary people.” I have often thought about that remark, because as she said it, I thought, “We are just ordinary people, too.” This was the beginning of a twenty year chapter in the lives of two very ordinary people, a pastor and his wife, a chapter called ministry and marriage, husband and pastor, life and death. The chapter closed on January 2, 2003 when my husband, down at the church to complete his sermon for the first Sunday of that New Year, suddenly passed away. The End. Twenty-five years marriage, twenty years ministry.

What do you do when you read the last chapter in a book? Well, if it is a single work of fiction, you go back over the story in your mind, reflect on the text and the characters, and then you move on to the next book. If it is a book in a series of books, you think on the text and the characters, and then move on to the next book in the series.

And so it has been with my life after the death of my husband. I look back to the history, the ministry and the marriage and I think on those things, kind of like re-reading the last chapter, but I also realize that this new chapter is not a continuation of that chapter. It is a new chapter titled “The New Normal,” a new history in the making for me.

I wrote my way through that first year of the new chapter of this book “The New Normal” and the word God gave to me as a tag line for each essay I shared with my sisters was, “His grace is still sufficient.” Now, most believers are familiar with this text, Paul’s thorn, Paul’s request, God’s denial, God’s promise, “My grace is sufficient.” I thought I truly understood this text until I did a more recent bible study on 2 Corinthians 12 and through a word study learned that when God said, “My grace is sufficient,” the word He was giving to Paul, and ultimately to me and you, is “I will be your support on a shaky foundation; you will not sink beneath the burden of this trial, my grace will stand between you and this challenge. So, when God follows this declaration with the assertion that His strength is made perfect in weakness, what He is saying to us is that the strength I give to you is more completely revealed when you recognize, acknowledge and experience this inability to effect change in your challenges, aka weakness.

Now that I have read that final chapter of “Ministry and Marriage,” and continue to write upon the pages of this new chapter of the book called “The New Normal,” my goal is to now remind my sisters that no matter what you find yourself going through, God’s burden bearing grace is still sufficient. The chapter in the book, “The New Normal,” has already been ordained by God. That last chapter prepared me for this new chapter that will contain the record of my challenges and His triumphs, weaknesses and His grace. It will be so with every challenge that comes our way, each level of challenge moves us to the next level of challenge, as we, indeed, move from glory to glory.

When you have read the last chapter of life and whether it ends with death of a loved one or a relationship, or relocation or disappointment or heartbreak, look back on that history, reflect and learn, but move on to the next chapter. Embrace it and remember that not only is God’s grace still available, it is most certainly still sufficient.

Today, I am still just ordinary people, but in this new normal “His grace still amazes me.”